Parenting wasn't meant for Perfectionists

My son is nine and in an effort to help him each morning I have created a list, a list of things he must do before leaving the house for school or summer camp, etc.  The list includes things like; take a shower, get dressed, brush your teeth, make your bed, etc.  One other important thing on that list is “pack your lunchbag in your backpack”.  Let me just add one quick point here-  his lunches are AWESOME!  I do my absolute best to ensure he has a healthy balance of fresh fruits and veggies, carbs, proteins and of course a little fat to keep him fueled(which is usually in the form of some kind of cheese).   After our twenty minute commute to parks and rec in the morning, I confidently hop out of the vehicle to walk my boy to the drop off station before making a second, 35 minute commute to where I spend the rest of my day fulfilling my full time career driven, working mom commitments(which I take a bucketload of pride in).  “Mom, you’re going to be upset with me. I forgot my lunch bag at home.” Admits my sweet, handsome and graceful boy.  As I look at him I also notice he is wearing sandals instead of the required closed toe shoes he was kindly reminded to put on before running out the door.  *Insert sigh here* I think I closed my eyes for just a second and inhaled deeply……

Truth-  I was extremely frustrated in that moment.  The thought of being late for work shot anxiety through my body and for a moment I considered driving to Reny’s to buy new shoes and Shaw’s for a lunchable. Really Aaden??? How many times do I need to remind you of these things?  WHAT THE FREAKING HECK????? I thought to myself.  No, I didn’t scream those things at him if you were thinking that (although that thought cross my mind too).  Instead, I relatively calmly expressed that I was disappointed and that we must drive home to get his lunch and shoes and make our way back. OK, OK-  I also took playing the Ipad on the way to Rec away for the rest of the week.  I felt like I had to do something!

Lie-  It’s my fault, I should have looked as his feet after he got into the vehicle and unzipped his backpack to ensure the super healthy lunch I packed was in tow, I thought to myself.  If only I could be a better mom and spend less time worrying about being a perfect career driven women, perfect wife, perfect dog mom and perfect friend and instead help Aaden remember his gosh darn lunchbox and the appropriate shoes!

Truth- Being perfect is exhausting.  I know because I spend a lot of time trying.  Instead, I’d like to spend more time just trying to do better, just a little better than I was yesterday and stop trying to be perfect-  doing it well, that seems like a pretty great spot to land don’t you think?  After a long deep breath, or two, no it was definitely three, we made it back to parks and rec with a healthy lunch, his sneakers, and both smiling in anticipation of another great day in our lives.  I managed to make it to work before 9AM (which is when some people show up every day) and I accomplished just as much as I did the day before when I was in at 8AM- go figure. 

Deep breath, momma....  Parenting wasn’t meant for perfectionists.