Squiggly Lines

After an intense morning of high vibrations— instructing cycling class, getting my strong on during kettlebell class, making breakfast for the family, sending a shameless mass group text to all my local peeps about the Little League fundraiser, preparing Aaden for the sleepover he is attending, folding the three clean, loads of laundry that made their way to the spare bedroom throughout out the week without being folded.... 

It wasn’t even 11am and I could feel my heart beating fast and my mind jumpeing from one thought to another in a ditch effort to cope with the anxious feelings I had literally created on my own. My brain was going 100 miles a minute with all of the thoughts— “maybe I’ll make a snack for all the kids on the baseball team for the game today, maybe I’ll go grocery shop so I can do that, what are we going to have for lunch?, maybe I should try Hannaford to go, shit, I have to shower, I really need my eyebrows waxed, maybe I will go do that, but the snacks for the kids........

That right there 👆🏼is a representation of all the thoughts..... 

I interrupted the noise with space, quiet time and meditation. The first few minutes I literally could feel my brain/head pulsing and with each deep breath it started to feel lighter. My mind started to slow down and the squiggly lines of racing thoughts started to transform into passing clouds, slowly making their way through my mind, one at a time. Slow enough that I could see them, acknowledge them and then watch them float away. I literally started to feel my blood pressure lowering and my shoulders finding ease at the top of my body again.  

When my timer dinged at 20 minutes, I took one last deep breath and stretched my arms high, releasing a few cracks and pops, before returning to the day lighter, quieter and certainly more present.

Is this what “be present” means?! I’m not sure... but I do know that sometimes I am my own worst energy and the daily moments of stillness helps me recognize that my body/mind needs space in order for me to really listen.